tbh if you want free weed just tell a group of stoners you’ve never smoked before and then boom free weed

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Shoutout to every black and white cat named oreo

(via orgasm)





Give me this owl

stuff like this keeps me going. y’know? why should i be sad when there’s a guy somewhere who goes about his normal life with an owl following him about

(Source: poyzn, via m0shturb8r)

recent studies show that ur a lil bitch

(Source: nippled, via orgasm)




But why the last one though
what am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

(Source: media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com, via whatiftherewasnobump)

(Source: pr0mise, via wavxes)


how do you get a stranger in public to fall in love with you

(via orgasm)


when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn

(Source: okuyasue, via hotboyproblems)

(Source: euo, via wavxes)

In London, Clever And Witty Street Messages That Tease The Public by UK-based artist Mobstr 

(Source: jedavu, via this--too--shall--pass)

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A Day To Remember - Homesick (x)

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